Interesting story; I have been writing something to be shared, basically writing what I was doing to handle the stressful time, and having to
be locked down at home. I was writing with so much excitement to share this
with others, that maybe someone can be inspired and have more hope in each day.
I realized that afterwards, my writings of how I was feeling
week by week were changing greatly, so I kept on writing.
Here’s how the writings looked like week by week.
Week 1
What to do during this time?
Reflect! Slow down, and reflect; on everything.
What I did personally was that I decided to take out a pen
and my favorite notebook and write down what I wanted to do every day during
the time I will be spending at home.
I found out so many things I wanted to do! Eventually, but
not immediately.
I started with writing down some form of a schedule; I
arranged my work time, time for working out at home, time to read and reflect,
or just watch something I like.
And as the days passed, I realized my plan can be so
flexible, I realized there are much more things I wanted to do.
Week 2
More days passed, and I saw the other side of things. It
wasn’t so easy, it was very challenging to sit still and accept the events that
are taking place, it was not easy for me to have a morning workout. It was not
easy for me to get up and do something creative, it wasn’t easy for me to even
read my book. I felt heavy.
And that when it was clear to me, change is not perfect,
change is a process and sometimes a painful process. The more you know, the
more you sink in deep into thought, the more you are awakening your soul within
you, the more you feel challenged, but at the end, the more you feel relieved.
Relived of anxiousness, relieved of fear, of negativity, of feeling trapped
inside a box, instead, you are now sinking in an ocean, it isn’t easy, but it
is beautiful.
Week 3
It seems like every day is becoming more challenging than
the one before, everyday is harder to handle, harder to organize, and harder to
accept. It’s getting harder to stay motivated, more challenging to still work
on the day to be a good and positive one.
We always measure productivity in the things we accomplish
in the day, and everyday that is getting less ad less until it seems like it is
fading completely.
It’s not easy, it wouldn’t be a challenge if it was, it
wouldn’t be a learning experience if it was.
If it’s too hard, remind yourself of what you need to learn
here, do not quit doing things, never stop creating, it’s creating a change
within yourself, it’s will not be something visible, your creation, it will be
something that is felt. Think differently, observe your thoughts, your
emotions. What do you want to change? What do you want to do?
Today
I’m here; thinking what I want to change and what I want to
do. And to my surprise the answers are heavier that I thought they would be;
because there is so much. I am starting to feel that there is so much I haven’t
accomplished, so much I haven’t done. So much of what is in my capability to
help others and seek for things I truly desired that I did not do. It’s sad;
but I happen to look for the brighter sides so I don’t collapse in my sadness
for long. (my sadness is never pretty if I sink in it)
After all, our peace and joy always come from within. So
here I am with my pen and notebook one more time; writing everything I’m aiming
for and everything that I truly want and need to do to become more ‘myself’. By
doing so, there a nice energy of joy and hope.
There is still so much to be done, and so much to do. Our emotions
are like waves, they will take us up high and sometimes way down low, and that’s
okay. May we always monitor how we feel, and understand ourselves more, may we
look deeper within ourselves and seek who we truly are and who we want to
become, and may we always have hope, and move with an intention of love in our
hearts.
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